Thank you tumblr user grollow I appreciate it immensely and I agree with everything you said about fandom being a sandbox made more fun by people having different ideas that make things fun to play with. It’s just that I’ve been off in my corner playing relatively on my own for a bit, which kinda fucks over the amount of context you get on things a bit. And also the miscommunication had the misfortune of landing squarely in the intersection between ‘things I really don’t like’ and 'things that have a canon basis but lack canonical descriptive details’, turning it into a shitshow. Which I really really fucking wish didn’t happen, even if I did enjoy discussing the pros and cons of different mental interpretations of Ghost and was able to come to the conclusion that it’s about as appealing to me as a slice of apple pie. Which is to say, I like certain bits of it and will gladly nibble at said bits, but if there’s any other option out there I’d take it over pie anyday. It’s not bad and I certainly do enjoy it in extremely specific context, but it also doesn’t appeal to me in the slightest and there’s certain parts that I refuse to touch altogether (the texture of cooked fruit makes me cringe and nauseates me, much like the idea of Ghost being an adult trapped in a child’s body from a horror perspective incites panic). But that’s fine, bc then I can just plop the filling onto a friend’s plate for their enjoyment, and nibble away at the bits I like in piece. My dislike of pie doesn’t extend to the people who enjoy it, nor do I get upset when my brother refuses to eat what I cook for him. He’s picky, I’m picky, I’ve got no right to judge. He’s just as valid for saying my cream cheese frosting is gross as I am for thinking him refusing to eat anything but mac n cheese and scrambled eggs is gross. Same concept with fandom here

(And honestly, my judgement on the whole minor/adult thing is seperate from Ghost as a character altogether. I’m of similar mind with Miquella of Elden Ring, who is canonically an adult trapped in a child’s body. Having a relationship with him in his child form would be fucked up- hell, even Mohg goes for breaking the curse first, and Mohg is canonically fucking insane! This isn’t something limited to just one fandom, it’s a hard line I draw in fiction in general)

Also yeah, I totally would have just worked it out in private, but I get the feeling the anon thinks I’m running some sort of clique or something over here where I would have twisted it into clout somehow. Which needless to say, I would not fucking do. Can’t say this enough, but I’m autistic as all getout and had to deal with that enough in high school so I have nothing but contempt for that sort of behavior.

DUDE I FUCKING LOVE ELDEN RING, it’s my favorite Fromsoft game behind Bloodborne, so much so that I have a canon url blog for it at @lichdragon-fortissax (though I admittedly haven’t been posting as much there bc I’ve been in my Destiny 2 hyperfixation as of late). I adore the story, the characters, the art and the gameplay, and it’s where I ended up accidentally making a couple of ocs I’m actually really fond of, which is rare bc I tend to be extremely nitpicky about my own personal content. Bloodborne is a favorite in a sort of spiritual/thematic way but Elden Ring is a fav for it’s storytelling, with Ds1 right behind it. I’ve got so many hours in there and tbh once I’m finished griding out the rest of Season of the Deep I’m considering redownloading it to give my strength and int builds another shot (though I’ll probs just co-op Malenia on Fenrix more bc I adore that fight). It’s a fucking masterpiece

As for Armoured Core, I just finished watching Vaati and Ironpineapple’s videos on it and I’m super stoked to see it in full, though I’m kind of on the fence if I want to get it at full launch or wait to watch a playthrough first, which I did with every game but Elden Ring bc I knew I’d click with it right away (full launch is 5 days before my birthday, so that would be a great present, but still…I’m stingy with money and when to spend it shchfje). I’m not much of a mech guy typically, but I love the bleak nature of the Armoured Core series with their poignant criticism of capitalist corperate systems, and the super-customization aspect of it makes my little strategy-loving brain giddy. I get the feeling that if I do end up playing it I’ll just end up tinkering with my build and replaying missions over and over again for the sole purpose of maximizing efficiency for each encounter, bc if there’s one thing I love to do, it’s find a way to absolutely bulldoze bossfights. It looks sick as hell and I absolutely cannot wait for someone to find the world’s most broken build day 1 of the community that comes to dominate the meta before it gets nerfed to hell and back (though tbh I’d be just as delighted if that was a fruitless effort simply because of certain strategies needing certain parts and tactics, as seems to be the idea for the gameplay)

It really isn’t, I have zero desire to shit on other people’s headcanons nor do I want everyone to follow my own (because that would get very boring very quick, and I really am genuine in that I enjoy comparing and contrasting people’s takes with my own). It’s just that I personally don’t really like that alternative take the same way I don’t like cooked fruit pie. There’s nothing wrong with other people eating it, and I can see why some people really enjoy it after they explained it to me, but it isn’t going to change the fact that the texture of the fruit in the pie is bad enough to me to prevent me from eating it, or that I find cake much more appetizing instead. That’s pretty much the amount of seriousness I have about fandom takes as a whole.

And even the original comment that sparked this whole shitshow wasn’t meant to be a serious reprimand or damnation. It was just me expressing normal disgust at what I thought was one of the few squicks I outright couldn’t stand, which I then apologized for when I realized I was in the wrong. I didn’t want people to think I was damning them or whatever when my intention was just the equivalent of a raised eyebrow emoji bc I lacked context. But I’ve already said that a million times already.

The boba-eyed beast,,,i wish to hold it gentle in my hands. what a rotund and peculiar creature

I honestly can’t tell, they sounded genuinely really upset with me and angry at how I responded to them. The thing is, I don’t know what else I’m supposed to do?? I answer each ask as genuinely and as straightforward as I can specifically to prevent misunderstandings, so I’m not sure if I can do the whole not-blunt thing. I do think over everything I say, but it seems like a lot of the time people skip to conclusions without actually thinking my words over, and I don’t know how to fix that. Being less blunt would probably mean that I come off as less hostile but fuck, idk how to not be straightforward about something, and dodging the question feels manipulative and shitty. I also apologized multiple times for the things I knew I was wrong about. so I’m not really sure what else to do about that.

I’m grateful for the feedback, and I’m not saying that it’s not a troll, but I’m also really ruffled by what’s going on and extremely upset about the possibility that I genuinely am a piece of shit, as well as confused about how to improve it. I really don’t want to come off as passive-aggressive or a bully, nor do I want any special social status just because I’ve been obsessed with hk for nearly four years. I’m not better than any other person in the fandom, nor have I ever considered myself to be better. I just don’t know how to counter that when I clearly don’t even know how I come off in the first place